Young Survivor Sisters - Breast Cancer Survivors

Tuesday I went to lunch with the Young Survivor Sisters which is a support group for breast cancer patients and survivors under the age of 45. It was nice to finally talk with some women closer to my age although at 38 I was the oldest woman there. It is hard to relate when everyone you see and talk to with cancer is so much older than you. You think "I'm too young, this can't be happening to me. This can't be real." I learned a lot at the luncheon. I know that they are going to be a great emotional support and resource for me in helping me make decisions about my treatment. We talked about surgeries, reconstruction, where everyone is in their treatment and recovery, and even about a sister that didn't make it. It all was a little overwhelming because once again there are so many decisions to make that will effect the rest of my life. They did give me the name of a plastic surgeon who recently reopened her practice in Sandy. Apparently she is trained to do some of the reconstructive procedures that others in the area don't know how to do. That is good news. I am going to call her office on Monday to find out when I can get an appointment.

Chemo days are hard because once again the fact that I have cancer becomes very real. It is easy to get busy with the day-to-day things and almost forget that I am very sick. I still don't feel well but the reality isn't hitting me in the face everyday. It is easy to pretend that this is something that will go away quickly and that I will feel better in a few days. I know that this is probably my mind's way of dealing with this because if I talk too much, read too much or hear too much about cancer then it becomes too overwhelming and I end up feeling worse and am more emotionally and physically exhausted. A lot of survivors say that they made it through their treatments by just taking it one day at a time. That is what I am trying to do. I can't look too far ahead because that is overwhelming also.

My next chemo treatment is this Thursday, March 27th. It will be my last treatment with the "RED DEVIL". I am hoping that my head will start to cool off. Right now one of my biggest frustrations is that I can't stand to have anything on my head. I have cute hats, bandannas, scarfs, and a wig but I can't stand to keep anything on my head for more than a few minutes. The scarf my cousin bought me in Paris came this week. I am hoping I can wear it to church tomorrow but I doubt I will be able to keep it on for very long. Last week I had to leave sacrament meeting to go in the bathroom and take off my scarf to cool off. I will probably have to do the same thing this week. I may even keep it off during Sunday school and Relief Society.

Ruth and I took the kids to the aquarium in Sandy on Friday. They had a lot of fun. I wore a cowboy hat that looks like it was knitted so it had a lot of ventilation. I kept it on while we were in the exhibit but Mariah and Tyler are always ready to go a long time before Shawn is. I brought a game of Domino's to keep them busy. We went into the restaurant area to play while we waited for Shawn and his friend to finish taking notes on the behavior of the sharks in the shark tank. I ended up taking my hat off because I couldn't stand it anymore. I got some interesting looks but nothing rude or anything I cared about. I just wish I could wear something if I wanted to without feeling sicker because of it.

I also have a new side effect. Yesterday my mouth starting to get sore. My tongue feels sensitive almost like it would if I had burned it but the taste buds are also sore. I made myself a smoothie to take with me to the Aquarium but I couldn't drink most of it because it hurt my mouth and tongue. Dr. Gray's office called me in a new prescription to help with this. I swish it around in my mouth like mouth wash then spit it out. My mouth and tongue are then numb for about a 1/2 hour. My mouth did feel a little less sensitive this morning which was nice because we went to our yearly Easter egg hunt and brunch at some of our friend's houses. The brunch was strawberry crapes which was the first thing that has tasted good to eat in several days. They tasted so good I ate 5 or 6 of them. That was a good thing because nothing sounds good tonight. I ate some applesauce but even that made my tongue hurt. I don't even want chocolate which NEVER happens to me.